Struggle

so today was a struggle mentally and physically. the mental part kicked in before i ever thought about training.
life has been tough the last few years for me. some highs and a lot of lows. i would love to change that but it seems the universe just likes to kick me when i am down. i stress about money because i barely have enough to survive. i get my bills paid but that is it....means there is no money to compete or just get myself  supplements. then i stuggle with my job...happy to be employed but i have still not heard if i am fulltime yet. would also be nice to get a raise. don't get me started on healthcare or 401k's...like i have any money for that. next in line is my kids, i miss them...nuff said!
all this wells up inside and drives me the edge, honestly there are days i wish i wasn't here. somehow i persist thinking there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. but i have not come close to the end of it yet. my friends and family have been priceless to me in all this.
so instead of wallowing and throwing a pity party i went to the gym! and then i squatted...

Squats 295x5, 335x4, 405x2, 465x1...this sucked!! Low back was not feeling it. A lot of discomfort in my low back just above the tailbone. Went down barely to parallel and thought I was not coming back up. Have the energy but no strength at all.

Seated press 140x5, 160x4, 190x2x2, 220x3x8...added extra sets to punish the shoulders. Regular push press wasn't happening with  back tweaked.

so that's it. managed to make it home and to the store to pickup some food. that was no fun carrying the bags up the stairs. hopefully the chicken tastes good...