threadbare

so much of how i am feeling is in that song. worn and threadbare, practically transparent....
this is tough....waiting for..everything....mail, email, phone calls. just need a good word, a miracle.
had a real interview today. hope it works out...it would give me hope. i also had to cancel my gym memberships.
can't justify the cost even though i love it. i also have to contemplate giving up my dog. that will be harder. he is like my 3rd child.

well in all this i did manage to get in a workout today...

smith seated shoulder press 135, 155, 185x 5  205x3, 225,3 245x3 +7
smith seated press 135x10 5 sets
dumbbell side raise  20x10 5 sets
rope upright rows 100x10 5 sets
pushdowns 100x10 5 sets
rope extensions 100x8 5 sets

life is pain

hope everyone enjoyed the holidays...actually it was a decent day for me. had dinner with the family and enjoyed insane time with my nieces....so glad that stage of life is over for me. miss my kids dearly though...

well as things would go life hits the crapper like a tourist drinking water in mexico....i found out today that my unemployment claim is under review because i was fired. wonderful state of florida...4 to 6 weeks...which means after i pay my rent i have no money left. yay for me...life can be cruel but this is unusually cruel. i would rather be waterboarded in gitmo. why pay into it if they won't give it to you? not like i quit of my own free will...oh well i press on. i apply to everything under the sun even for jobs in afghanistan, really what else do i have to lose?

this news of course took the wind out of my sails today. was supposed to train but that didn't happen. ifi feel up to it i will go tomorrow. might be my last time in the gym anyway...one more love stripped away from me.

reborn...

bench day...

close grip bench 185x5, 215x5 245x5 +5

iso 1 arm row 90x10 5 sets

rope pulldowns 100x8 5 sets

iso wide chest 1arm 90x10 5 sets

good workout but everything felt extra heavy today. triceps were sore from the shoulder workout too.
happy with the results. what is weird is that i am pressing less than normal so i feel a little self conscious about it.


now it is time to enjoy the holiday...well as much as an unemployed man can. have a good christmas everyone!

in over my head?

maybe i am! well i did squats today...295, 345, and 395 5 reps each with an extra 5 on the last set. i went a little under on the weights and was happy for it. the first 2 sets were ATG. the last set was below parallel and that was good for me. after that i did front squats 135 5x5. went fast with these and push through on the top so i literally was on my toes. next were hack squats 230 5x8. went from a wide stance to narrow. ended my workout with smith lunges 115 5x10. those were brutal....

a few observations from the gym....a powerlifting belt is not necessary for bicep day, serious. legs are an essential bodypart, even if you only play basketball. and i heard a new description for legs....t-rex legs. haha...as long as i never have t-rex arms.

on the job front...more apps out. i just patiently wait. but i did step out and ask about covering strongman for RX Muscle. the sport is my passion and i want to see it covered in the mainstream. i have work cut out for me though. have to bring in sponsors to cover that section of the forum.

when death smiles at you...smile back

ah well i need to say that the gym is my place to regain sanity...it is my refuge and sanctuary....my arena!
i went back again this time with a plan. decided to dig out Jim Wendler's 5/3/1 program. since i won't be competing i need a goal and reason to get in there. well why not build up the 4 lifts i need as a strongman...deadlift, overhead press, squat, and bench.  i went conservative on my maxes but i think that was still too much..haha!

so today was overhead press...week 1 is supposed to be 3 sets 5 reps, 65% / 75% / and 85%
so i went 135 and 155 for 5 reps, 185 for 5 plus 4 more. then i went to the Hammer Strength ISO shoulder press 270x8 3 sets, 270x5 1 set, 270x4 1 set....think i went too high on that.  next were dumbbell raises 30x10 5sets, not bad but right shoulder does not like them. went back to the shoulder press for 1 arm presses, 45x10 8sets...that thoroughly fried my delts.


jobs sucked today...nothing listed anywhere, must be the holidays. of course i could apply for a work from home  scam..i mean job...well i will keep pressing on. if anything i get my butt in school and get educated.

deads for sunday

got in the gym today....decided it was a good day to do deadlifts. paying for it though, head was on alright but my body was not having any of it today. warmed up with 135, 225, and 315 all for 5 reps. loaded 405 and pulled 3...they felt heavy! so i stuck with that for 4 more sets of 3.

was heaving and breathing like whore on dollar night. i decided to jump on the squat machine and do reverse squats. 420 5 sets of 10. rather easy but my hams and groin were screaming at me. but that was all i had in me...

where ever i stand....

sometimes we just need to hear a good word or two. the people that matter the most should be the first to offer it. yes sometimes it is tough even for them, they are not sure how to handle the situation. but communication is the key to it...ask questions, prod...but never nag. please dear jeebus no nagging!
we never know what the effect we might have on someone...even a stranger. one word or a smile just might keep the ma few inches from the ledge.

being friday the jobs out there were scarce...lot of work from home oppurtunities..haha! did recieve notice on how much my benefits will be, if i get them. apparently getting fired from a job can get you denied unemployment benefits....hoo-f'in-ray. i persist and carry on anyway.

i have realized how insane i can get when not in the gym...back there tomorrow. stomach was not doing well today. last thing i want to do is crap my shorts in the gym..

sink or swim

yeah that is how i feel....time to dog paddle. amazing though that just a kind word and a sympathetic ear make the best floaties. right now that's all i can ask for and maybe a job lead or 2.

oddly i am feeling artistic. pulled out the paints, a canvas and brushes....helps to pass the time and give me something tangible to do. emailing resumes and waiting on phone calls just isn't demanding enough. also this cold snap has been keeping me locked up inside. warm enough today i just might go out for a walk. strange that i never thought i could get cabin fever in florida...

training is in the crapper...i will have to make my way there sometime this week or weekend. just not feeling the love for iron right now.

movin' on

another day...more resumes and applications. so much i have forgotten to eat today. probably not a good thing...but i don't know if my stomach could handle anything. nervous wreck, scared, frustrated. so tough out there to find anything. lot of oppurtunities but the pay stinks, the jobs are overly specific and requirements are beyond possible to fill. yet i persist...

i can't  fall into the trap of thinking about the choices i made through my life. i have never lived with regrets or focused on the past. i moved on... if forgiveness was needed i gave it. even if it was tough to do. i try to ask god why these things happen to me...i wait for the answers.

life's ups and downs

am i afraid? yes...unemployment is not a good thing. not knowing if you will get anything, competing against the 11% unemployed people in this county...wondering just how long i can survive, what would it be like to live on the streets...i now spend all day sending out resumes, hoping to hear something back. i check to see if i will get compensation...or will i be denied? i pray a lot too...

the upside before that was i had the possibility of getting on fulltime at the company i was working at. also i finally met someone that gets me. funny how these things work...i sometimes think i am living the life of Job. have everything only to watch it all get taken away, fall apart, and disappear. it is frustrating and somewhat depressing but good friends know how to walk me off the ledge. i have to learn how to take this and make it work for me.

training and competing will be a little off. have to focus on other priorities right now. that is what really hurts though...one thing i love to do will be set aside.

well back to job hunting....

get a grip....

barbell rows 315x2 4 sets
shrugs 405x10 5 sets
hi-row/t-bar 140/90 8/5 reps 5 sets ----damn t-bar apparatus is heavy
wide grip pulldowns 150x8 5 sets
cable rear raises 15x10 5 sets

2 handed grip machine 100x10 5 sets
1 handed grip machine 50x10 5 sets
wrist curls over/under 135x10 5 sets
hammer curls 100,90,80,70,60,50 3 each arm 40x5, 30x6, 20x10 each arm




well after all that has gone on this week it was much needed. just when you think things are going your way the world take a nasty steaming dump on you. time to polish up the resume and get my life back on track....let me tell you one thing, you certainly find out who your true friends are.

slave no more

ya know somedays we can go from the high of highs to the lowest depths of hell. there are people out there looking for their own gain, those that think nothing of themselves. the backboneless sludge living pieces of crap that think the everyone needs to crawl with them in the filth. these are the people that use the system, the ones that think speaking your mind is against the law or even a sin. dare i say it? these are the PC crowd...pathetic c****. i have 2 fingers for you...

so i had to go to the gym otherwise what i just typed would have been a lot worse...

push press 135x5, 185x3, 225x2, 245x1, 275 3 attempts all about halfway.

smith lockouts 275 5x3

smith reverse incline press 225 5x5

dumbbell clean and press 90x2 6 sets

side raises 30x10, 40x10, 50x10, dropsets 40x10, 30x10, 20x10, 10x10

pushdowns 60x15 8 sets