extra...

hit the pool today before the thunderstorm. except there was no thunderstorm...

so i did 10 laps. 2 more than what i intended but they felt so easy!
since i have been getting some crazy pumps i wondered what if...i helped the pump.
since i did not want to experiment with my WTF i used a sample of some preworkout mix i got at the Europa.
i actually felt a bit of a pump in my lats.

this is day 4 on Poison....no more jitters. this confirms my stim junky status. still feeling warm and energized.

decent day...

for the past few days my life has been turbulent. hold it together but secretly want to scream.
today i woke up with something good brewing in me, or was that the chili i ate?

a bit of the old me is back. still going to stick to this insane plan.

day 3 of taking Poison is going well. no shakes today. still feeling warm.

waterlogged

hit the beach last night and was mauled by the surf. but it was sooo awesome.

jumped in the pool today 7 laps. one more than last time.
going to try and add 1-2 every time.

day 2 of Poison...don't have more than 1 cup of coffee....i notice i am extra warm. lets see if that continues.

event training today. not my normal day but training partner is competing this weekend.




log clean and press
140,170,190,210x2

tire flip
550 5,7,6 reps

stones
230x5 




was hot and humid...unbelievably sweaty....


prior to training i cracked open a new fatburner, Poison by ALRi, not jittery but felt energized.
very impressed with the way it feels. also 1 dose per day. most definitely worth it just for that.


prior to training i had a PBJ sandwich and cup of coffee. also drank WTF on my way to train, wicked pump during training. after training i downed a shake using Species Isolyze, peanut butter and chocolate mixed together. 

day one...got in the pool and did some laps.

6 laps total...wow that was tough. first 3 i went easy, second set was all out.
cannot tel you how winded i was, let alone the insane pump in my arms, shoulders and chest.

contemplation

something has drained my desire to retain my title of strongman. i have waivered recently, trying desperately to get out of this funk i am in. rest, relaxation, motivation....nothing is working. is it time to call it quits?
i enjoy my training, it is sanity for me. the thought of competing just drains me. i am tired of last place...

i am definitely going to change up my training. maybe even see where i can take my body. make some changes to how i look. but i am not a vain narcissistic person...i just want a challenge. certainly going to be a challenge working with kettlebells and strongman events. the diet and cardio will be the biggest challenge. pulling out the bike and riding, good long walk, swimming even. diet..i am going to experiment with backloading carbs.

well here is to the journey ahead....

lost...

no it is not about the tv show.

somewhere in all the work, moving, lifting, and general insanity i lost something of myself. lost track of a lot of things that are coming back to bite me in the ass. i lost my sense of purpose, my dreams, my desires....
i need to rethink what the hell i am about and where i am going.

retool my training and step away from the gym. continue doing my strongman training but give my body a break. throw it some curves and sliders to force my body to change. kettlebells and more cardio...maybe the pool or a good ride on the bike.

do i need a new job? well if one paid more.... school? that would help, but will anyone give me the money for it now? one thing i have rediscovered is my desire to paint and draw. thanks to my kids...love ya!
certainly will be doing more of that. seems like there are some oppurtunities to make something of it here.

love? haha no luck there....but i keep going after it like Don Quixote.